when will you call me?
after.
when can I see you?
after.
when are you coming home?
after…
and after a while,
after turned into forever
and every after
was a selfish mistake
void of love and laughter
after a while
the smile fades
and even the memory
goes away
after the sun sets
and the days blend
into years
after…
all that’s left is tear-stained
pages upon pages
upon which you wrote
your new story
after you ripped out and burned
the suicide note
scribbled on what was
meant to be your last
page
after pages of anger
and anxiety,
and daily hate mail
self addressed
too depressed to care
anymore
I’ll deal with it after
I’ll end this all
after…
and after
I dumped out the snake-oil
I realized
that the whole universe is mine
and that I am the whole universe
and everything is fine
if I just keep living
after the the light fades
because it’s not over,
that’s when the stars come out
and we dance by the moonlight
and the shadows start to play
and everything is perfect…
and then
after,
the sun slowly creeps his way back
over the horizon
and after today,
tomorrow will come
but I’m not worried about that anymore
after doesn’t matter
it’s just a tired word
used and abused
since it was first uttered,
and it’s meaningless
and yesterday
and tomorrow
are figments of my imagination
all that matters is now
this moment
this second
the present…
because there is no after
the past
and the future
are just different versions of now
and we can’t change or control
either
just now…
this moment
this second
the present…
there never was an after
after all
and after all that,
I get it
now
I’m not worried about
the next step
or the last
the future is the future
and the past is the past
this moment
this second
the present
is all we have…
is all we’ve ever had
and this step I’m taking now
more important
than all the left
right
lefts
of yesterday
or the barefoot strolling
through tomorrow’s sand
so I will stay
out of my own way
forget marking time
forget the start
and the finish line
right here
right now
this second
the present
this is all I have
and all I need
and after all that
lets all just breathe…
soitgoes1984 